I’ve worked at a gym for the last 3 years at college, not to mention spent the summer just getting ripped at the gym (over/under 5 people believe that). Here are the top ten types of people you see when you are getting your swell on:
10. Fat People at the Gym
The first of the stereotypes, fat people at the gym are rare. Shit shows like the Biggest Loser gives them hope, then they come to the gym and fail miserably after the first 5 minutes, leading them to leave to go eat a Snickers.
9. People Who Socialize at the Gym
Socializers are different on two levels. People either hate them because they actually have friends to go to the gym with them or hate them because they sit on the same machine for 40 minutes between sets. Either way, people just fucking hate people who socialize at the gym.
8. Groups of Races
An interesting case here. When somebody enters in a group of the same race, they all do the same thing. If ones plays basketball, they all go. If one goes to bench, they all go. If one goes to do yoga they all go. When the group of 15 Asians come in, they all go walk around and hang out in the bathroom and measure their dicks.
7. Kids Who Bring Notebooks
That stupid fucking notebook. What the hell could be so important that you must write in a notebook? You wanna go tell you high school coach from 3 years ago that you now bench 145? Congrats, you are not an athlete anymore, you don’t need a notebook. You never needed a notebook.
6. Old People
They always show up, but I always wonder why. True story, a 85 year old guy comes in all the time to play basketball, and he always plays pick up games. So every time he plays, everybody gets to see him guarded against the 6-3 all-state guard who scores at will. Why subject yourself to that?
5. Athletes
Athletes are always a fun case when they show up. No matter at what level, you get 3 scenarios with athletes. Either they are 1) a big time asshole, 2) everybody kisses their ass or 3) they are nice as shit. I have been lucky enough to deal with mostly number 3, however, every once in a while you get somebody like the guy in the picture.
4. Guidos
Everybody assumes it is a stereotype, but Guidos do actually come in with the following: Muscle Milk, Creatine, Wife Beaters, blowouts, a group of guido friends, and of course their girlfriends. They always bring the girl along and make her sit on the side while they work out. Yet, after all that, I still find Jersey Shore funny as shit. I gotta embrace my inner guido.
3. Kids in Jeans
Want to know who never belongs in the goddamn gym? Kids in jeans. They should be a restraining order against them. If you want to imagine a kid in jeans who goes to the gym, think of a kid who plays World of Warcraft, is a film major, has glasses, jerks it 6 times a day to Transformers, and watches the Disney Channel.
2. Roid Users
They walk around giving advice, they grunt when the dead lift, they look like you can pop their biceps with a pin. Basically they are fucking losers.
1. The Hot Girls on the Elliptical
This my friends, is the one saving grace of the gym. For all the guidos, roid users, kids in jeans and fat people at the gym, God throws us a bone with this group. All I can say is thank you.
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